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Melissa Fino

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Suite 7742

San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    Letting Go: Four Steps to Starting Over and Living the Life you Dream of

    June 20, 2019

    “In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.”

    – Deepak Chopra

         

     

     

         Letting go is not about resistance it’s about acceptance. Accepting that you cannot control all outcomes, people or situations. Consider all of the energy you’re wasting pushing and prodding, attempting to create outcomes you desire.  In order to gain clarity, peace, comfort and relaxation we must TRUST that there is something greater and believe in the higher power that will provide.

     

    And yes, the unknown can be incredibly scary, but when we let go, we create space for something new to grow.

     

         You will be supported again. You will be loved again. But this time it will be different as you will be whole and there will be more of you, to love. But to be loved, we must love ourselves as we are, and that process begins with letting go of what is holding you back.

     

     

    Are you ready to make that first step towards changing your life?

     

         What is it that is holding you back? Is it a person, a judgment, or a lifelong story you’ve repeated over the years? Could it be you’re fear of failure, that you won’t be good enough or perhaps even a fear of success?

     

     

         Is it possible that these are all just pieces of your imagination? Thoughts and thoughts that repeat over and over in your head that are not real. More often than not, it is our thoughts, our imagination that keeps us from following our heart and living our dreams. To stop the negative, insecure action that occurs after our thoughts, we must get in the habit of reminding ourselves that a thought is just a thought, nothing more, nothing less.

     

    That is all thoughts will ever be, unless we act on them and make them real.

     

         Letting go can become exceedingly difficult, as the very things we are running away from, will constantly come back and tempt us. They want to see how bad we really want what we want. How far we are willing to go. The more we run, the faster they follow. The less we fear the more the push. They want to test our bounds!

     

     

     

             So we must keep running towards something new. We must resist the urge to control and begin to evolve.  

     

     

         If you are growing and you have relationships in your life that don’t support you or push you back to the places that you are running away from, then yes it is time to LET GO. Surround yourself with people who embody the character traits of where you want to be. Let go of those who don’t. I know easier said than done, right? But it’s my brother, sister, mother, long lost aunt from another country. Or even my childhood best friend, my last connection to a sibling who’s passed away, my boyfriend or lover. Whoever it is, I have to tell you sometimes it’s best to let go. Every relationship has a season and if it dies, you must go to the places where you will grow.

     

     

     

         I must make this clear I do understand that there are some relationship bonds that are unbreakable (it’s just the way life works). But there is a way to limit the interaction in relationships where you have become the victim to judgment and resentment. If you want to become your best self then you MUST surround yourself with people who believe in you and all that you desire.

     

    Four Tell-Tale SIGNS that it is time to let go.

     

    Are you being held back?

               Be honest, have you been afraid to try something new and different because of what this one person might say? If you find that every time you want to try something new, go somewhere different, or achieve a new goal you face opposing forces that doubt you, then it might be time to follow your heart and let go of what is keeping you behind.

             Is it possible that the opposing force that is holding you back is you? If it is, you must release attachment to this outdated story by feeling all of your feelings that have happened in the past and setting them free.  Let them go. Make room for new energy that will fuel your soul and warm your heart.

     

    Are you being yourself?

                Do you feel that you have to hide when you are around other people? Let’s be real here, the world we live in doesn’t always allow us to be ourselves. We can’t always be authentic at work or even at church with our families but if we can’t be authentic with those closest to us then what is the point?

    We MUST CHOOSE relationships in our life that love and appreciate us, as we are, without the desire to change us. Get where I’m going with this? The people in your life who only love based on stipulations that require you to change, are the relationships that harm us the most.

     

    Does it feel disingenuous?

                Do you have relationships in your life where you feel that a person has befriended you solely because they feel that you can offer them something that they don’t have?  Or even more do you keep a relationship with someone else because they can offer you something? This is simple. Don’t build relationships with others that are solely based on what they can and cannot do for you. This is manipulative and unhealthy.

     

    Is there relationship balance?

                Do you love equally? Work equally? Play equally. Yes, there will always be an imbalance but does that imbalance balance out the other parts? Don’t remain in relationships where you are the only person putting forth the effort needed to maintain the relationship. Clearly, the other person is taking your relationship for granted and you deserve better. At the same point, don’t do all of the work for someone else just because. Tell them how unloved they are making you feel and ask them to step up. If they don’t go back through all these steps again because well you should know by now.

     

    How many of us are attached to this one feeling, moment or experience that has negatively impacted our lives?

     

     

     

     

         For one moment close your eyes and imagine all the times you’ve repeated those words, or that story, to yourself. Imagine all the times you almost did something different but then you repeated that same story and it held you back. Imagine all of the experiences and feelings you could have felt if you hadn’t listened to your past.

     

    I ask you now. Are you ready to let go?

     

     

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