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Melissa Fino

(619) 301-4480

melissa@loveyourlifecommunity.com

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4833 Santa Monica Avenue

Suite 7742

San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    Will Losing Weight Make You Happy?

    March 21, 2019

     

     

     

         You’re not just a number on the scale. Or the size of you pants. Or even that barbell that you pick up at the gym. You’re a beautiful woman, lost in a society, that’s superficial standards have shamed her into believing, that her size predetermines her value. But it’s not true. It’s the exact opposite. And if you stay with me I’ll offer you some deeper insight into why.

     

         Studies show that when women are asked about their fears, their first answer is that they’ll become overweight. Not that they’ll never have kids or that a family member could become ill, or even that their family would be affected by a devastating loss. Women fear weight. They’re petrified of it. But what most women don’t see is that weight (a gain or a loss) is often determined by something deeper that is stirring inside of us.

     

    The weight is an over stretched Band-Aid begging to be torn off.

     

     

         Body issues have become the deep, dark secret that most women hide within. They sit silently inside and are rarely shared. It would be silly to ask why. Our lives are inundated by messages everyday, that tell us we need to be skinnier, have bigger boobs, a perkier butt, a flat tummy and nice round calves. Especially, if we want to be attractive to the opposite sex, be considered for promotions or simply be noticed in a large crowd. Attractive people are perceived to have all the perks and for many we believe that being skinny makes you attractive.

     

    Being skinny doesn’t make you HAPPY.

     

         And as women who have outlived the people who created these outdated, superficial standards it has become our job to change them. We must look within ourselves to change behaviors that have been modeled for us for hundreds of years.

     

    The weight of a woman does not determine her worthiness and it doesn’t determine her health either.

     

         Our body conscious society prompts us to believe that once we reach a certain weight, or get back to our favorite pant size that we’ll become happy but it just doesn’t work that way.

     

    Happiness is not a destination.

     

         You can’t buy a one way ticket to happiness, get off the bus and think all is well and you’re life has changed. It just doesn’t work that way. Girl, you gotta do the work and once you do you’ll see that happiness is something that already exists inside of you.

     

     

         If you’re not happy now, you’re not going to be happy when you lose ten pounds. You might be for a few days or about a month or so, but after the excitement of fitting into your new pants wears off, you’ll still be left with the same sadness you were hiding before.

     

     

     

    The same unresolved feelings.

     

     

         As a whole, women look at weight backwards. They believe weight holds them back, but it’s not the weight, it’s the unresolved feelings that are hidden inside. So if we want to live a happy life we must be willing to confront the unresolved emotions that are bottled up inside of you.

     

     

    Are you carrying unresolved guilt?

    Do you feel excluded from a particular group, a loved one or your family?

    Have you recently felt like a failure?

    Have you been left behind?

    Do you wish your life resembled that of someone close to you? Why?

    Have you recently been fired? Dumped? Medical scare?

    Have you lost a loved one?

    Been embarrassed and not sure how to face it.

    Missed milestones what others around you have achieved.

     

     

    The life we are living is not always the same as the life we envisioned we would be.

     

         Unresolved feelings turn into shame. Shame turns into weight. So we do what we’ve always done to hide the feelings that exist inside, we starve or we overeat. Starve and overeat again. It’s the life of a hamster wheel with no way to ever get off.

     

         Grab ahold of yourself. Look back up that list right there and get honest with yourself what are you feeling inside. Journal about it, over and over again and then set that bitch on fire. Let her go. Get moving and get happy again. It can be done but first you have to get honest.

     

     

    The next step to becoming the women you want to be is to start acting like her.

     

     

         Start doing the things you tell yourself you’ll do when you lose weight NOW.  Become the person that you want to be. Go hiking. Get active. Start wearing her clothes.  Start eating like her. Change your beliefs. Become her NOW.

     

     

         You’ll have a better chance of becoming the woman you want to be when you start walking in her shoes. And girl, do yourself a favor throw out your scale. When you start practicing the behaviors of who you want to be all of your beautiful pieces will fall into place.

     

    The next chapter is yours and you get to decide who you’ll be when you turn the page.

     

    Love and light,

    Melissa

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