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Melissa Fino

(619) 301-4480

melissa@loveyourlifecommunity.com

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4833 Santa Monica Avenue

Suite 7742

San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    Go From Feeling “Never Enough” to “More than Enough” in as Little as Ten Minutes

    December 20, 2018

     

     

     

         Are you worthy of LOVE?  Most of us would say yes however behind closed doors we offer ourselves more hate than love. Loneliness, and emotions that make us feel “incomplete” are collectively felt across the world, but no one discusses it. No one admits it. Yet, we all struggle with it. 

     

         But if you’re reading this please know that you’re not alone. There isn’t a moment that goes by in a day that someone isn’t questioning the value they bring. But we all add value to the world. And we are all worthy of the love we desire. There isn’t one individual in the world who isn’t worthy of love.  

     

    Truth be told, we’re all born with worthiness.

     

         It’s our life experience that changes us and causes us to believe that who we are will never be enough. It prompts us to play the comparison game. It prompts us to change the person we are, to become more like the people we see.

     

     

    Have you ever felt this way?

    Have you ever felt insecure because your pants were too tight or to loose?

    Have you ever felt less than based on the amount of money in your bank account?

    Have you ever felt lost in a classroom? So much so that you contemplated dropping out?

    Have you ever felt fat shamed for not having the same body as other women at the pool?

    Have you ever felt like a bad mom?

    Bad daughter?

    Have you ever done something so shameful that was so out of your character that you now regret?

     

     Do you still carry that shame with you?

     

         Well here’s your chance. In, Go From Feeling “Never enough” to “More than Enough” in as Little as Ten Minutes you’ll receive insight and practical advice that will bring you right back to your home. Right back to yourself. And when you’re there I promise you you’ll find the reason why you left, and why you’re never going to leave again.

     

                     I have spent a lifetime feeling not enough.

     

         Years, better yet decades have come and gone where all I ever felt was just not good enough. Not skinny enough. Not smart enough. Not tall enough. Not pretty enough. Not (blank) enough. Why was I like this? I wondered are there other people around me like this? Did I stand out like a sore thumb?

     

         Could people tell that inside my incessant nagging voice was screaming, you are not enough! Don’t make eye contact. Don’t talk to her she hates you. No not that person either! What in the hell are you doing? Why are you just so weird?

     

    Does your inner voice stop you in your

    tracks and force you to do the exact opposite of what it is you want to do?

     

         The concept of “not good enough” plagues women across the world. We compare ourselves to celebrities and women in beauty magazines everyday, if not even every hour. And now with the help of social media we compare ourselves to our friends and family members as well. However, we only compare our lives based on the highlight reels and never the true day-to-day.

     

    We have become a society of women that

    seek external validation and our worthiness is solely determined on a scale of comparison.

     

         Oh YES I can see some of you waving your white flag at me and screaming but this is not me! But the truth is no matter who you are, or what you do we all have moments of insecurity that prompt us to question our worth. We think she has this therefore I must have this as well. If I don’t have this, well then that means I’m not good enough. Sadly, when we dare to compare it also means the person we’re comparing ourselves to is better then us.

     

    IT’S DISHEARTENING!

     

    Why do we continue to beat ourselves up in such a way that we cripple ourselves from evolving?

     

          Instead we continue on, lost and confused, seeking more and more validation. The truth is if we continue these patterns we will forever feel like we’re not enough. In order to change the feeling we need to reverse how we seek approval. Instead of seeking approval based on our outsides we should focus inward, as it is how we feel on the inside that determines how we will look, feel and act on the outside. We need to go home to the place where it all began.

     

          We need to stop comparing, stop second-guessing and stop seeing who we are as only a fraction of someone else. We will never be someone else. The only person we can be is oneself. The more we continue to push and pull our bodies and minds to be like another, the farther we become from who we really are.

     

    We need to embrace the knowledge that we are all worthy.

     

     

     

         Worthiness, is a quality we are all born with and it will never change based on the self-imposed standards we have set in our minds. It will also never change based on any decisions (positive or negative) we have made.

     

    If you have gained or lost weight that will not change your worthiness.

    If you have gained or lost money that will not change your worthiness.

    If you have gone through a divorce, or suffered the loss of a friendship or relationship, that will not change your worthiness.

    If you have lost a loved one that will not change your worthiness.

    If you have developed a health condition that affects you physically or mentally that will not change your worthiness.

    If someone else dislikes you that will not change your worthiness.

     

    We are all worthy.

                                                                                               

    Say that one more time, as it deserves repeating.

     

         As we grow and evolve, and enter different stages of life our worthiness continues to remain the same. What changes as we mature are our feelings and at times these may lead us to the highest of the highs or even the lowest of the lows. However, it turns out that we are in control of our thoughts therefore we can control our emotions. While yes, this can be a difficult concept to fully grasp it is possible.

     

    It is our insecure feelings that cause us to criticize ourselves. They also prompt us to criticize others as well, as we see their qualities as pieces within us that we are lacking. But the worthiness we were born with is the same worth that exists inside. It is the person that exists underneath all of the layers that is capable of understanding that there is more, but the layers prevent them from seeing the light.

     

    Our blanketed layers have become our greatest form of protection.

     

         But the very layers that are meant to protect have become our greatest downfall. One by one, these layers continue to pile on top of each other. But instead of continuing to build our layers we must focus on how to shed ourselves of them. Less layers is the beginning of the healing process and the only way to uncover what’s hiding inside. But with or without our layers, we are all worthy. Regardless of what has happened to us, what we have done or what we have seen, our worth will always exist deep down inside.

     

    But if we were to take a step back in time…

     

     

     

         We would be able to find the carefree young girl who existed before life came and hardened her so, the girl who had never felt shame. The young woman who had never been told that she was fat, dumb, wrong, dirty or would never be enough. That woman still exists within and her heart aches to be set free.

     

         Underneath each of us is a free, loving, open, fun, careless soul that has never been shamed. That is the person who needs to be embraced. That is the person that needs to be loved. That is the person that aches to be seen.

     

         And if you can wholeheartedly embrace these three words “You are worthy” I promise you she will begin to push through her hardened exterior and come back to life. You are worthy of everything good in life.

     

         We are all born with worthiness. It’s actually a tangible piece within all of us. I know this sounds odd but it’s true.  We are all born with worthiness therefore we are all worthy! And it doesn’t go away or fluctuate depending on our past, or how we are feeling that day. 

     

    This piece is so IMPORTANT,

    there is no piece of your past that can dictate or change how worthy you are today.

     

     

         

    I ask you to envision yourself as a child before life happened. The pieces of you you were born with still lie deep within you. They don’t disappear based on life’s experiences. No matter how much shame or guilt that you carry with you your worthiness will never change. It will always be the SAME! You are not broken. You are whole. Repeat that a couple of times and really begin to own this statement. 


     

    Your worthiness will always be the same.

     

     

         It’s there. And it’s always been there. There may be some of you out there reading this and wondering to yourself, “Well isn’t there more?” Well guess what, there’s not. And to those of you who think there should be I ask you this “how many times in life have you made something simple into something difficult?” I bet it’s more times then you care to admit.

     

     

         We’re wired to see problems instead of solutions. We’re wired to see bad rather than good. We’re wired (by life’s experiences) to think we’re not enough when the truth is we really are.

     

         Now here’s the thing and this is where it gets really hard.... We must take responsibility and ownership for how we are allowing ourselves to feel. We must own the words we silently repeat to ourselves in our head. We must DECIDE that we want to change our story. We must OWN our story.


    OWN OUR VOICE

     

     

         We must stop playing the blame game.  Stop blaming others and stop blaming ourselves for how we feel or what we say. The easiest way to let go of our past and ultimately change our story is to change the voice that repeats over and over on our head.  Instead of “gosh darn it” or “why am I so stupid” change your voice to say....


    I'm feeling this way because my inner voice is insecure. 
    I'm feeling this way because my inner voice is insecure. 

    I’m feeling this way because my inner voice is insecure.

     

         I'm not bad. I'm not wrong. I'm not sad. I'm good. I’m right. I'm happy. Change your story from I am not worthy to I am incredibly worthy. We are all equally worthy of love and belonging and the only way to fully embrace our worthiness is to change the negative stories that we repeat to ourselves. 

     

    Are you willing to put forth the effort to change your thoughts and ultimately change your life?

     

     

     

     

    Join me on this beautiful journey home. During the process I can offer you practical tips, tools and life coaching services that will help you eliminate self-doubt and inspire you to step forward towards your deepest desires and your most authentic self. The life you want to live is waiting for you to make the decision that you are good enough to live it.

     

     

    AND IN CASE YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS

    you are worthy of all of your desires and everything

    beautiful that you dream of.

    You are worthy of it all.

     

     

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