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Melissa Fino

(619) 301-4480

melissa@loveyourlifecommunity.com

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4833 Santa Monica Avenue

Suite 7742

San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    How to Drop the White Lies and Embrace Vulnerability

    July 20, 2018

     

     

     

     

     

    Everyone tells the same little white lie and it always starts like this “I’m ok about….”

     

     

         And so it begins. We begin to tell ourselves, and our loved ones, little white lies so we can continue to hide in shame. But somehow we’ve repeated them over and over in our head so many times that we begin to believe them. They become our truth but they’re still LIES. Little white lies that have turned into blanketed layers hiding our true identity.

     

         We believe we’re ok. But we’re not. We’re lost and confused. And now on top of that were liars. Lying to ourselves and those we love the most. But would our lives be different if we faced the truth?

     

         To be vulnerable requires the utmost honesty within oneself. It is only when we are wholeheartedly honest with ourselves about who we are, our beliefs, our truth, where we are going and where we have been that we can be truthful and honest with others. See vulnerability necessitates courage and it is that courage that makes us strong.

     

         Facing our fears can be scary and that is why most of us continue to take the easy route and ignore them. But when we stop being weak and begin to face our fears our walls begin to drop. And every time we do it we drop another wall. And then one day we notice we’ve dropped them all.  

     

         But we can do the opposite. We can continue to be weak, and build our walls by finding solace at the bottom of a bottle, by eating a whole sleeve of cookies or by not eating at all. However, I don’t believe this is the life we care to lead.

     

         I want to fight. As I’m sure you do as well. I want to face my fears head on and leave all the bull shit behind. I want to be seen and loved for who I am, imperfections and all. I want to BE ME and in order to do that I need to leave the façade behind.

     

    Are you ready to lower your walls and own your truth? If you are continue reading as I have some suggestions for you on how to embrace vulnerability.

     

    Love Yourself As You Are

     

                I’m sure you’ve heard this before but there really is no other way around it. You must dig deep within and love and ACCEPT every part of yourself. Allow yourself to love without the need or desire to change. This is complete acceptance. This is the kind of love you would expect from someone else but the truth is that is the love you need to give to yourself first.

     

    Release Judgment

     

                What we fail to recognize is that when we judge another we are judging based on our own insecurity and fears. A majority of the time it has nothing to do with the OTHER PERSON. Release the need to judge yourself and release the need to judge others. Not only are we not perfect but we will also have “imperfect moments”.

     

    Our insecurities will continue to breed fears however if we love and accept ourselves as we are then we will no longer fear judgment from others.

     

    Stop Playing The Victim

     

                I’m this way because my father never loved me or my mother stopped breastfeeding me or I get picked on in elementary school. I can go on and on and on. The victim mentality is a defense mechanism that causes us to put up walls and blame other people for why we are the way we are.

     

    But we most recognize that as adults we are in control of our own thoughts. And if we continue to play the victim we are never taking accountability for our lives. ***

     

         In order to be free from our lies and live our truth we must feel all of our feelings. Embrace it all, the highs and the lows, the good and the bad. And at the end of the day remember this, a feeling is just a feeling, nothing more, nothing less.

     

     

     

    ***Side Note: I can coach you on how to recognize and control your own thoughts if this is something you would like to pursue in the future.

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