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Melissa Fino

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San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    Does your Inner Voice Force You to Do the Opposite of What You Want to Do?

    July 6, 2018

     

     

     

     

     

          I have spent a lifetime feeling not enough.

     

         Years, better yet decades have come and gone where all I ever felt was just not good enough. Not skinny enough. Not smart enough. Not tall enough. Not pretty enough. Not (blank) enough. Why was I like this? I wondered are there other people around me like this? Did I stand out like a sore thumb? Could people tell that inside my incessant nagging voice was screaming, you are not enough! Don’t make eye contact. Don’t talk to her she hates you. No not that person either! What in the hell are you doing? Why are you just so weird?

     

    Does your inner voice stop you in your tracks and force you to do the exact opposite of what it is you want to do?

     

         The concept of “not good enough” plagues women across the world every day. We compare ourselves to celebrities and women in beauty magazines everyday, if not even every hour. And now thanks to social media we even compare ourselves to our friends and family members. But let’s remember we only compare our lives based on the highlight reels and never the true day-to-day.

     

          We have become a society of women that seek external validation and our worthiness is solely determined on a scale of comparison. Oh YES I can see some of you waving your white flag at me and screaming but this is not me! But the truth is no matter who you are, or what you do we all have moments of insecurity that prompt us to question ourselves. We think she has this therefore I must have this as well. If I don’t have this, well then that means I’m not good enough. Sadly, when we dare to compare it also means the person we are comparing to us is better then us.

     

    WHAT A HORRIFFIC THOUGHT!

     

    Why do we continue to beat ourselves up in such a way that we cripple ourselves from evolving?

     

          Instead we continue on, lost and confused, seeking more and more validation. The truth is if we continue these patterns we will forever feel like we are not good enough. In order to change the feeling we need to reverse how we are seeking approval. Instead of looking externally we need to begin to seek love internally. We need to go home to the place where it all began.

     

          We need to stop comparing, stop second-guessing and stop seeing who we are as only a fraction of someone else. We will never be someone else. The only person you can be is yourself. The more we continue to push and pull our bodies and minds to be like the another, the farther we become from who we really are.

     

          We need to embrace the knowledge that we are all worthy. We are all born with worthiness and it will never change based on the self-imposed standards we have set in our minds. It will also never change based on any decisions (positive or negative) we have made.

     

    If you have gained or lost weight that will not change your worthiness.

    If you have gained or lost money that will not change your worthiness.

    If you have gone through a divorce or a relationship has ended that will not change your worthiness.

    If you have lost the closest person to you (the only one who understood you) that will not change your worthiness.

    If you have developed a health condition that affects you physically or mentally that will not change your worthiness.

    If someone else dislikes you that will not change your worthiness.

     

    We are all worthy.

     

    Say that one more time as it deserves repeating.

     

          As we grow and evolve, and enter different stages of life our worthiness continues to remain the same. What changes as we mature are our feelings and at times these may lead us to the highest of the highs or even the lowest of the lows. However, it turns out that we are in control of our thoughts therefore we can control our emotions. While yes, this can be a difficult concept to fully grasp it is possible.

     

     If you want to try changing your thoughts click here to read Three Steps To Positive Thoughts and it will delve deeper into this topic.

     

          But just as you can change your thoughts, you can change your story.  Ultimately, the story that you repeat to yourself over and over in your mind is your responsibility and if you want to change it you must take ownership of it.

     

    The story that says you are not good enough can be changed to how incredibly worthy you are.

    The story that says how stupid you are can be changed to how smart you are.

    The story that says how unloved you are can be changed to how loved you are.

     

    In the end, the easiest way to change the story is to change the voice in our head.

     

          Change your voice to say.... I'm feeling this way because my inner voice is insecure. I'm feeling this way because my inner voice is insecure. I'm not bad. I'm not wrong. I'm not sad. I'm good. I’m right. I'm happy. Change your story from I am not worthy to I am incredibly worthy because the truth is we are all worthy.

     

    Worthy of our own love.

     

     

     

     

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