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Melissa Fino

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San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    Four Tell-Tale Signs That it is Time to Let Go

    June 15, 2018

     

     

     “In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” – Deepak Chopra

         

     

         Letting go is not about resistance it’s about acceptance. Accepting that you cannot control all outcomes, people or situations. In order to gain clarity, peace, comfort and relaxation we must TRUST the process of letting go.

         Yes, I get it. Letting go of relationships is scary.  The unknown is unbelievably scary. It really is. But you must trust that where are you going is much better then where you have been. You will be supported again. You will be loved again. But this time it will be different as you will be whole and there will be more to love.

         But just as you are moving through the emotional gamut I imagine the person that is causing you pain is as well. Here is why. They see you evolving. They see you passionate and happy, confidently moving towards your dreams and not allowing their judgments to sway you. They see that you are no longer at the place that they are and they want to push you back down to that same level, especially considering that they are not ready to grow. And believe me they are not ready to see you go either.

          I must tell you, letting go can become exceedingly difficult, as the very thing we are running away from, will constantly come back and tempt us. They want to see how bad we really want what we want. They want to see how far we are willing to go. And the more we run, the more they follow. The less we fear the more the push. They want to test our bounds!

         But we keep running. We keep evolving.  As we know that there is so much more to our life then just this moment in time.

         If you are growing and you have relationships in your life that don’t support you or push you back to the places that you are running away from, then yes it is time to LET GO. Surround yourself with people who embody the character traits of where you want to be. Let go of those who don’t. I know easier said than done, right? But it’s my brother, sister, mother, long lost aunt from another country. Or even my childhood best friend, my last connection to a sibling who’s passed away, my boyfriend or lover. Whoever it is, I have to tell you sometimes you just have to let go.

         I must make this clear I do understand that there are some relationship bonds that are unbreakable (it’s just the way life works) but there is a way to limit the interaction in relationships where you have become the victim to judgment and resentment. And if you want to become your best self then you want to surround yourself with people who believe in you and your dreams.

     

    If your still unsure here are 4 Tell-Tale SIGNS that it is time to let go.

     

    Are you being held back?

                Have you been afraid to try something new and different because of what this person may say? Be honest, here. Often when we are comfortable we may place blame for our unwillingness to grow on someone else. But if you find that every time you want to try something new, go somewhere different, or achieve a new goal you face opposing forces that doubt you, then it might be time to follow your heart and let go of what is keeping you behind.

     

    Are you being yourself?

                Do you feel that you have to hide who you are to be around this specific person? Let’s be honest here, the world we live in doesn’t always allow us to be ourselves. We can’t always be authentic at work or even at church with our families but if we can’t be authentic with those closest to us then what is the point? Choose to have relationships in your life that love and appreciate all of you and don’t love you with the need to change you. Those that love based on stipulations requiring you to change are the relationships that harm us the most.

     

    Does it feel disingenuous?

                Do you have relationships in your life where you feel that a person has befriended you solely because they feel that you can offer them something that they don’t have?  Or even more do you keep a relationship with someone else because they can offer you something? This is simple. Don’t build relationships with others that are solely based on what they can and cannot do for you. This is manipulative and unhealthy.

     

    Is there relationship balance?

                Do you love equally? Work equally? Play equally. Yes, there will always be an imbalance but does that imbalance balance out the other parts? Don’t remain in relationships where you are the only person putting forth the effort needed to maintain the relationship. Clearly, the other person is taking your relationship for granted and you deserved better. At the same point, don’t do all of the work for someone else just because. Tell them how unloved they are making you feel.

     

    In the end, trust your heart and go with your gut. Relationships are not meant to be easy but they are meant to bring us joy and not pain.

     

     

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