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Melissa Fino

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San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    How to Stop Chasing Perfection.

    March 12, 2018

     

     

     

    As a young child I was taught if you couldn’t do it right then don’t do it all. But as an adult I now question this line of thought. To be honest I did as a child but now I have the freedom to do as I please. Thank goodness I do because this notion is WRONG! How are you ever going to learn how to do anything in life if at first you don’t fail?

     

    “Perfect is the enemy of good.” ~ Voltaire

     

                When we strive for perfect we achieve nothing. Perfection is an allusion created by our minds that leads to unhappiness and endless amounts of lost time. It’s a vicious never-ending cycle leading to nowhere fast. Looking back on my own life I can see how perfectionism has held me back. My need to be perfect kept me locked in a life of comparison and never allowed me to shine. But the truth is I have gifts! We all have so many beautiful gifts to offer the world and when we struggle with perfectionism we never use them. Instead we live a boring life filled with stagnant cycles. 

     

    Is this the life you want to live? I guarantee you it’s not.

     

                Continuing to seek perfection will result in depression, procrastination, loss of time, difficulties working with others and decreased self-worth. But as a reformed perfectionist I can tell you there is no better time then now to take action. Stop listening to that incessant nagging voice in your head and start living your life.

     

    You are Worthy

                Wasting time trying to perfect life is like waving a huge red flag that says I’m not worthy! Our minds are wired to believe that when we achieve perfection we will feel complete. It is at this point, that if we believe we are worthy, we will begin to validate ourselves. But perfection doesn’t exist therefore we will never be validated. But we are worthy! It is inherently inside of us and it will never change. Worthiness is not something that fluctuates based on achievement, age, social status, marital statues or employment. It’s just there. We all have it. And knowing that is half the battle.

     

    Stop Worrying About Everyone Else

                If you don’t believe that you are worthy of belonging you will seek recognition, love, feedback and attention from others.  But this validation is something that can only be received from you. No one else will ever be able to fulfill those needs for you. Better yet, the path you are on is all about you and no one else. If you seek validation from others before you step forward with action you will never share your own voice. Your own ideas. Your own story. Your life will be lived in someone else’s footprints and I guarantee you that you will not be fulfilled.

     

    So how do you stop?

     

    Stop Giving into Fear

                Most of us don’t fear being chased after a bear or hit by a car. What we fear most is how we feel if we fail or how we will be perceived if we fail. But if we acknowledge these fears and spend time with them we may discover that they’re not scary. They’re silly. What we should fear most is continuing to live the life we live without chasing after our dreams. Change your definition of failure from having failed on the first try to not having tried at all.

     

    Have Fun

                Life is for the living and if were not having fun what are we doing? Don’t beat yourself up after a fumbled first attempt, laugh it off and get right back up again. Have fun and get creative with it. I guarantee you that one day you will look back at how it all began and you will laugh. So why not now?

     

    Surround Yourself with Other Risk Takers

                Stop surrounding yourself with other people who are stuck in the perfectionism trap. Find people who are just like the person you want to be. Watch them as they throw caution to the wind and chase after their dreams. Be like them. I guarantee you that they will be there to support you, laugh with you and push you towards your next crazy goal. They have fallen enough times to know that with every failure comes an amazing outcome! 

     

    So the next time you find yourself struggling to seek perfection I ask you to take a step back and remind yourself that you are perfect. You are imperfectly perfect just as you are.

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