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Melissa Fino

(619) 301-4480

melissa@loveyourlifecommunity.com

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4833 Santa Monica Avenue

Suite 7742

San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    Good Bye Goals. Hello 2018 Intentions.

    December 20, 2017

     

     

     

     

     

     

            It’s that time of year again! The holidays are right around the corner and before you know it the New Year will be here. Have you thought about goals or intentions that you would like to set for the New Year?

     

           Well I have. Last week I had the incredible opportunity to speak “Everything Intention” at an event hosted by Dames Collective. Dames Collective is a women’s networking group based in San Diego that is filled with fascinating female leaders, CEO’S, innovators and solo-preneurs. We discussed how to set yourself up for success in the New Year as well as how goals make us feel. We also broached the topic about why some of our goals tend to rollover from year to year.

     

            We started the morning with a creative brainstorming activity centered on what makes us happy. The group was enthusiastic and the list was extensive. It was simple. Just close your eyes right now and think of all of the things that make you happy. Flowers, photography, animals, your children, wine, movies, yoga… We could fill a page with things that make us happy.

     

           I than asked the women to think about what inspires them. My intent was to ensure that the goals they had for their businesses were also aligned with what makes them happy. Because why would you want to work in a business that does not inspire you or make you happy? And once again the values of your business must align with your own personal values.

     

           Subsequently the women were each given a handout with specific questions to answer about goal setting.  We than returned together as a group and discussed all of our answers.

     

    The first question was “How do goals make you feel?” The answers ran the gamut.

     

    “I feel accomplished.”

    “They make me feel horrible.”

    ‘They make me want to go to sleep.’

    “They give me energy.”

    “They make me want to run and HIDE.”

     

    Goals can either terrify you or they can inspire you that is dependent on the goals you are setting.

     

           Moving forward, we discussed goals that each individual had for the year of 2017. Which ones they had achieved and which ones they hadn’t. Were there any goals that they had not achieved that they subsequently placed on their 2018 list again? Why does this happen? Well here are some of the biggest reasons.

    • Your business or personal vision has changed.  With time and experience our vision changes and was must adapt our goals with change.

    • This goal is not your goal. It may be a goal that you husband has, or your family member or even your business partner. This goal does not inspire you and you’re actually starting to hate it! Stop dragging it with you.

    • Do the words you repeat out loud not match what your subconscious mind repeats to itself? As an example.  Your intention is to obtain fifty new clients in the New Year but your subconscious repeats over and over again that you re not worthy. You need to make your intentions match that your subconscious is saying and if not you need to get in there and do the work!

     

    When you are setting your goals the ULTIMATE GOAL is to be happy so ensure that these goals are your own and that they align with your values!

     

              Now that you have set your goals you may notice some internal conflict.  Has that inner perfectionist come out to haunt you? Does it cause you to second-guess yourself?  Does it tell you that you will never be good enough for the challenge? Is it incessantly nagging at you and telling you that you are not worthy?  Well than you need to shut it up. Here’s how to begin.

     

    Perfect does not Exist

     

    Don’t ever wait for perfect. It will never come. Waiting for perfect will also stall any action that you will make towards you set intention.

     

    Reframe, Reframe, Reframe

    Reframe the problem that you see. If insecurity is holding you back reframe the scenario to take the pressure off of you and make it about the client, consumer or even friend. Perhaps you’re scared to share your story as that can be a terrifying place but this can be reframed by thinking about how your story will help others.  Maybe you feel that the product you are trying to sell is not perfect. But what you need to be doing is thinking about how the product will make a difference in someone’s life.

     

    External Deadlines

    Are you terrified to begin? This project has been on your to-do list for months now. The longer you wait the longer it will never ever get done! The easiest way to get through this is to set external deadlines that you cannot run away from!  Make that big meeting for next month and than you have no time to run away. Sign up for that marathon 6 months from now and you are already committed. Find a client who could benefit from your services and book an appointment for 1 month in advance. Trust me. Nothing will light you on fire like knowing that you have a meeting in 3 days!  You can complete projects that you’ve been rolling over for years by setting external deadlines.

     

              Finally change your goals to intentions. When I say the word goal I only think of competing in a soccer game but when I say the word intention it resonates with my heart. Close your eyes and say the word intention. This word connects with you desires. It inspires you. Immediately change all of your statements that include the word goals to intentions.

     

    Here’s an example.

    “Bad goal”

    My goal is to build a million dollar business.

     

    “Good Intention”

    I intend to build a business where I am financially stable and abundant.

     

              The statements above are different as the last one correlates with what makes you happy. Stability and abundance are of utmost importance to you in the New Year: much more than a million dollars.  With stability and abundance your goal is infinite. When your goal is a million dollars it has set limitations.

     

             Think about the difference in these statements. Reframe your statements to model the sentence above and you will find intentions inspiring and fulfilling.

     

    Intentions can be inspiring! Choose ones that make HAPPY!

     

                So while I have you here I Just wanted to say thank you for being a part of Love Your Life Community. I am unbelievably grateful for each and every one of you and cannot wait to see what the New Year has in store. Happy Holidays.

     

     

     

    Gratitude goes to...

    Thank you to Cristin Smith for allowing us to .utilize her space over at Saffron & Sage as well as speaking with me. She is such  delight!

    Thank you to Dames Collective for inviting me to participate in this event. If you are a female in the San Diego area you should check them out immediately!
    And a big shout out to Meg Marie Photography for the gorgeous pictures you see above

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