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Melissa Fino

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San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    Are you Filled with Fear or Simply Afraid to Feel?

    January 7, 2018

    ~ Fear is only as deep as the mind allows ~
    Japanese Proverb

     

     

     

     

               Why do we choose fear over success? We visualize our dreams. It’s almost as if we can touch them yet we never chase them. We keep them locked up in the back of our minds and every once in a while we pull them out as if they were once real. As if we have actually experienced them. But our only true connection with them is the sought after dream that we never chased. We choose fear over success. So how do we break the pattern? How do we go after our hearts desires and chase what we love?

     

                Fear prompts us to believe that we are running from the obstacles that are

    placed in front of us but the truth is what we are actually running away from is ourselves. We are fearful that another may judge us. Fearful that we may make an attempt at change and fail. Fearful that our negative inner voice may be right. Fearful that there may be truth in our rumination.

     

                Our fears have become irrational. Most of us are not filled with fear that we are going to be run over by a train, hit by a bus or attacked by a black bear. We are most fearful of how we will FEEL. Therefore, when we say we are afraid to apply for another job or chase after that dream guy it is not because we are afraid that they will physically hurt us. It is because we are afraid of rejection. We are afraid of how we will feel emotionally. This fear fills our bodies with negative feelings of inferiority and powerlessness and ultimately paralyzes us from living the life we desire. 

     

                We are afraid. Afraid to live. So instead we settle for the life that we have and our dreams continue to be distant thoughts hidden in the back of our mind. But it is what we fear emotionally that keeps us from living our truth. It keeps us from what we truly love.

     

               When we begin to take chances our lives take off. We experience life and all of its highs and lows. With every high we soar and with every low we learn a lesson, we evolve. What we truly find when we experience rejection is that it makes us stronger! With rejection we learn to fight for what we truly want. With rejection we learn to get right back up and try again and every time we get back up we realize that we are stronger than our inner voice led us to believe. We learn that as long as we are willing to try we can be SUCCESSFUL.

     

     

    Choosing Success over Fear

     

    Our Time is not a Guarantee

     

                Time is a gift that is often taken for granted. We are afraid to make changes. Therefore, we put our dreams away for tomorrow but tomorrow may never come. Tomorrow needs to become today.  How many times have you heard an elderly person approaching their death explain that their only regret was that they had never tried? No one ever says they regret that they tried. Be strong. Live your life with no regrets.

     

    Most Things we Fear aren’t Truly that Bad

     

                Personally, I experienced this yesterday. We fear something so we continue to put it off for an extensive period of time. But when we actually take the risk and accomplish what it is we fear, we discover it truly wasn’t so bad in the first place. So why did we wait so long? We allowed the voice in our head to psyche us out. We envisioned failing, over and over again, that we became frozen with fear when envisioning the task. We must spend less time thinking about our dreams and more time chasing them and making them REAL.

     

    Embrace What You Love

     

                Often we don’t chase after our dreams because we are afraid of failure, but the truth is it is possible to fail in life doing things we dislike. Out of necessity we take jobs that we hate because we need to pay the bills. These jobs are easy and require little, to no effort. We stay in them because we are afraid of the challenge of finding a new one. Afraid of rejection. We settle into relationships where there is no love because we do not believe that we are worthy of something better. We are afraid. Afraid that we are not worthy of real love.  With every comfortable move we make we fail, because we are not happy! Even more we fill our bodies and minds with anger and disdain when we are not evolving.

             Life can be risky and it is the people who take all of the risks who are successful in life (success is determined by our own happiness). 

     

    So why not let go of what is holding you back and reconnect with your hearts desires?

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