I could travel the world seeking love but the truth is the love I was seeking was found within. To you, my years may have been wasted but to me each and every one has brought me closer to today. Today I offer you my story so that you may know that while the journey is painful, you will never be alone. There will always be another soul who will share your pain. Someone who’s suffered the same heartbreak, closed the last door, drank the last bottle or took the last pill.
My story is one with which I never felt enough. My days were filled with criticism, hate and negativity. I never used words like compassion, self-awareness and forgiveness. I had heard of these words. But I had never offered them to myself. I was unaware that I held the responsibility for applying them in my own life.
The truth is we are all hiding behind the shadows of something and if we took off our masks and spoke our truth we would find that we are not alone. But yes I know. Words can kill. And it is these very words that when spoken into existence can crush the strongest souls. So why would we speak our truth knowing all the while that we can blindly continue on our journey without feeling love?
With love comes light….
The truth is when we learn the root of love something magical happens. Our lives change. They transform. A transformation so grandiose that it almost becomes impossible to remember the person that you were before the love came in. It’s like being alone. Locked in a dark room for years and than someone comes in and turns on the light. The life that existed before is forgotten. A brand new world is introduced. It’s sensory overload. Black and white becomes color. Visions that were held in your mind become real. Life becomes real. Life becomes love.
When we don’t offer love to ourselves we are walking around blindly in a dark room.
So how do we know to turn the light on?
Just because we were not taught the importance of self-love, or have even ignored all of the lessons, doesn’t mean we can’t change and acknowledge something that was previously misunderstood. A clearer sense of self can be brought from darkness. An empty heart can be filled with color. All of our fears can be replaced with joy. We just must make the decision to let go of all that has held us back in order to move forward.
It is in these moments of difficulty that we must persevere. It is when we feel lonely, unloved, unmotivated, physically and mentally exhausted and riddled with defeat that we must offer more love to ourselves. But how is it done? How do we become self aware during moments of weakness?
“Compassion is a necessity, not a luxury”
In the same way that we offer compassion to those close to us we must offer it to ourselves. We are allowed to experience the gamut of emotions. Just as others worry, we worry. As others feel excitement, so do we. We are allowed to be scared, scattered, tired, joyous, overwhelmed and uncomfortable. We are allowed to have bad days, just as we are allowed to have good days. It is in the moments of darkness and insecurity that we must remind ourselves that it is ok to have a bad day.
It is in these moments that we must continue to offer more love to ourselves.
By doing this we reap the rewards in life - more joy, wisdom, excitement and happiness. We illuminate the path to self love.
There is an ironic parallel between letting go and letting love in. Each practice requires us to just be and accept the world as it surrounds us. When we love we must love wholeheartedly. Not more or less. When we let go we must accept that with which we cannot change. Letting go opens the door to more love.
My lifelong journey continues to speak to the importance of self-love. My heart overflows and I feel it. I share it. I am better for it. I hope you do the same. There is no better feeling in the world than love and it starts and ends with you.
Sending some beautiful love your way,