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Melissa Fino

(619) 301-4480

melissa@loveyourlifecommunity.com

Location

4833 Santa Monica Avenue

Suite 7742

San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    Is Fear Fucking up your Life?

    April 12, 2017

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Most of my clients are like me, well the old ME! They have allowed fear to take over their lives and now they feel stuck! They wonder to themselves how the heck did this happen?

     

     See when complacency takes over our lives (I’m talking years, possible decades here) we forget what our actual vision for life looked like. We reach the point where our hopes almost feel like a distant memory and the life we are living today is the only one that is possible. Its almost as if we’ve locked up the vault to our hopes and dreams and they no longer exist.

     

    When we live a life in stagnant cycles change seems impossible.  Do you remember the movie Groundhog’s Day? Bill Murray portrays the life of a sad weatherman whose same day is on repeat over and over again.  Do you ever feel like that? Are your days filled with the same monotonous activities that leave you unfulfilled?

     

    Is there more to life? Do we expect more from ourselves?

     

    If you are not screaming YES and you believe that your life is perfect you can stop reading this right now! Serious, go away. But if this is an astounding YES than please continue…

     

    The truth is everyone who is honest with themself is going to say YES! There is something that everyone wants to change. Or has let fall to the wayside or simply has forgotten that they wanted. 

     

    This is your life that you are living right now! And it’s flying by. Days have turned into months, which have turned into years.

     

    Be honest with yourself.  Are you happy? Do you want a change?  If change is what you are seeking, I can offer you clarity and a little guidance on your way.

     

    What are your Non-Negotiables in Life?

     

    Take a hard look at your life. I am talking about the bigger picture, not just the day to day. What do you have? What do you want? What are your needs? What do you need in your life to feel the way you want to feel?  What makes you feel secure? Love? Confidence? Happiness? Energized? Whole? All of these things are your non-negotiables.

     

    A small example to break this down even further would be…  Would you be willing to accept a job that paid twice your salary if it required three hours of daily commute time, which would drastically reduce the amount of time you would spend with your family?

     

     When our non-negotiables are clearly defined we know when to say yes and when to say no. Create a list of your non-negotiables. Commit to five of them. Remind yourself of them throughout the day.

     

    What Transformation are you Seeking?

     

    Now that you know what is most important in your life you can start to work towards goals that align with those feelings you crave. It’s about time to get real here! What is the vision that you have for your life? Are you looking for love, a different job, more free time, weight loss or gain, an abundance of money, life purpose or an enhanced community of like-minded individuals who nurture you?

     

    It is very important to be clear and honest with yourself about what you are seeking.          We can go back to the example listed above. Would you accept a job that would double your salary? Now would you accept this job if it required three hours of daily commute time that would reduce the amount of time you could spend with your family? When you have already determined what your non-negotiables in life are it is easy to determine the boundaries around your vision. What is more important, money or family?

     

    FEAR is Fucking it all up!

     

                When we combine our non-negotiables with the transformation we are seeking we can move to the next step. Facing our fears. The truth is fear is inevitable. We will continue to face it in our lives every day! Fear does not care if we are challenging ourselves or not. It will come; regardless of the life we are living, so why not live the life of our dreams?

     

                Fear is an emotion. One that everyone feels. It can produce anxiety and stress.  At times fear produces so much anxiety that it leads to paralysis. It is the number one killer of all of our hopes and dreams!

     

    But the cold hard truth is that fear can be REFRAMED! Are we actually going to die if we don’t get the job we applied for? Is life going to be over if you ask a girl to marry you and she says no? If you tell someone they love you and they don’t say it back is this the end of your life? NO it’s not!

     

    But imagine what life is like in twenty years when you look back and are reminded that you never applied for the job of your dreams. You never asked the girl out. You never said I love you when you had the chance.

     

    This is your life that you are living right now and here is the reminder that you need to live the life that you want!

     

    Remember that REGRET trumps fear. Regret is something that we will live with forever.

    So why not go after it?  Follow your heart. Change your life. Go for it today and live with less regret.

     

    Please sign up for my mailing list to receive future information about upcoming projects and blogs. Also you can now find me on Facebook. When you like my new LoveYourLife Coaching you will have instant access to inspirational information that will add value to all of your days!

     

    Please feel free to contact me with any questions, suggestions or for wellness coaching. 

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