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Melissa Fino

(619) 301-4480

melissa@loveyourlifecommunity.com

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4833 Santa Monica Avenue

Suite 7742

San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    Giving UP...

    March 24, 2017

     

     

    Giving UP.... Two Words that are no Longer in my Vocabulary.

     

    “Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” Charlie Jones

     

     

     

    Yesterday, I had a dear friend ask me the dreaded question… SO what’s going on with the book?  And than she followed it up with,  “Are you just going to give up and just go get a job in your field?” After I took a deep long breath I told her, I am not giving up until the day I die. Let’s be clear here that’s not giving up.

     

    Giving up is the old me! Giving up is something I would have done after about the third attempt.  I am not the old me. I am a stronger version of my old self. I know that working on your dreams can be hard, but I also know that years of wondering what would have happened are much harder.

     

    Still something about this conversation left me uneasy.  I wondered do I need to explain myself to this person?  Why do I feel the need to explain myself? Do I need to explain myself to the world? Am I on the right path? What the hell is going on here?

     

    See I am just like all of you! I have doubts and yes at times I question my judgment. I question why am I surrounding myself with people who don’t understand me?

                                                                                                                                                              

    I attended the University of Southern California’s graduate social work program because I wanted to help people.  I wanted to become a therapist. I had spent years of my life working with underprivileged youth. Many of them were young insecure woman who were plagued with numerous social problems they were to young to deal with. I was fulfilled when I was able to help these young women understand their own self worth.

     

    During my graduate program I changed. I matured. I was able to uncover my own personal issues. I began to work through them and resolve them.  With this I changed. My goals in life changed. It was during this time that I was able to reconnect with my childhood dreams of being a writer.  I discovered that I had become a stronger, better version of myself. My life can simply be defined like this, before graduate school and after graduate school. Before I was never good enough and after is sit the fuck down, this may take awhile but I got this shit!

     

    It was clear to me. I was different. With that my life was going to change. In graduate school I was introduced to life coaching. From that point on, life coaching became my jam!  I now know that life coaching is confusing for some people. Many people want to know, “What’s the difference between a therapist and a life coach?”  So I am offering a simple definition. A therapist will work with you to uncover issues from your past and allow you to understand yourself on a deeper level. A life coach comes in after you have a clearer understanding of yourself and helps you achieve your goals by providing accountability, support and momentum. There is a big difference between the two of them but both professions are in the helping field. Both professions offer much needed guidance and support.

     

    So here I am chasing after dreams that previously seemed unrealistic and I wonder to myself how many of you are like me?  How many of you are struggling with the old person you left behind and the stronger version you are becoming? How many of you feel the need to explain it?

     

    For those of you who are like me, I want to tell you that change does not happen overnight. Change can take days, months and yes even years.  The hardest part about change is that you only begin to notice results after most of the hard work has been done. When we are actively working towards change, we miss the little things that are happening right in front of us. I urge you to take a moment today and acknowledge how far you’ve come from where you started. Accept that you truly have changed. Let go of the  “old crappy you” that you have been holding onto and embrace the “bigger better you” that you are becoming. Embracing the new you acts as a reminder that you can continue to overcome obstacles and face challenges. Change is not your enemy. Change can’t break you! Change can only make you stronger.

     

    Moreover, I offer you these words of advice. Pay attention to whom your energy increases and decreases around, because that’s the universe giving you a sign of whom you should embrace and who you should let go.  Invest in people who you trust.  They have solid values that align with your own. They wholeheartedly believe in you. They encourage you. When you leave conversations with them you feel rejuvenated and ready to get back into what you love.  Continue to surround yourself with those people.

     

    Life can be challenging but I no longer fear failure! What I fear is being in the exact same place next year as I am today!  So I’m not giving up. I am doing the exact opposite I’m going after it! I hope you continue to do the same.

     

     

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    Please feel free to contact me with any questions, suggestions or for wellness coaching. 

     

     

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