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Melissa Fino

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San Diego, CA 92167

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    MELISSA'S MUSINGS

    A place where heart and mind can connect through the power of words.

    What Does it Truly Mean to FORGIVE?

    October 28, 2016

     

     

     

     

    What is forgiveness? How do we learn to let go and truly let love in?

     

    The past month has brought some deeper clarity on the true definition of forgiveness. What does it truly mean to forgive? By definition, to forgive another human being is a deliberate process where the victim begins to let go of negative emotions associated with the negative act.

     

    By definition forgiveness is letting go. When we practice letting go we recognize that there is no longer a need to be right or to be wrong. We acknowledge that every human is different and operates on different playing fields. When we let go we not only rid ourselves of unnecessary negative energy we also say to the person that has harmed us I understand. I understand that you yourself are troubled, and have moments of weakness. I understand that you are human and are capable of making mistakes. I understand that no one is perfect and ultimately by judging you and your actions I am only causing myself more pain.

     

    When we no longer feel the need to judge others based on their actions we can truly let go. Letting go becomes the key to our own personal freedom. When we are able to let go, we start fresh. We embrace the positive in the world and block out negative energy. We continue to create more room in our life for positive energy; more room for love.

     

    What letting go does not do is allow us become door mats. It does not mean that we condone the other person, or that we are giving them a free pass to come back and do us harm.

     

    What letting go does is free ourselves from the past. Letting go is not a conversation with another person; it is an internal conversation that is best had within.

     

    AS I look back over the past year, and think of the numerous times I needed to let go I have found that I have become stronger. I also have become open in life and receptive to understanding that not everyone is perfect, as humans we are bound to make mistakes.

     

    Here are some techniques that we can all use to set ourselves free from unnecessary negative energy.

     

    • Write a letter that includes every time you felt wronged and why. End the letter with I wish you well. *** burn the letter ***send the letter

     

    • Develop a mantra in which you repeat to yourself I forgive him/her for everything that they have done that I feel has wronged me. I wish them well.

     

    • When you feel that you have been wronged reflect upon the situation and ask yourself could I have reacted differently? Change that behavior in order to change future outcomes.

     

    • Acknowledge that when we live a life that is guided by fear we surround ourselves with negative energy. A life that is motivated by love radiates positive energy.

     

    • Develop a mantra in which you repeat to yourself I forgive myself for everything that I have done. I am willing to let go of my past.

     

    It is only when we are truly able to forgive ourselves that we are able to let go. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on past mistakes, or negative feelings. Letting go ultimately creates the opportunity to live in the present and what a wonderful place that can be when we are free and willing to embrace love.

     

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