Does fear limit you?
Do you have things you want to do but you’re afraid to do them or things you want to say but you’re too afraid to say them?
Fear keeps us from living the life we want to live. Instead of chasing our dreams and desires we do nothing. Instead of living we get busy dying. Instead of trying to achieve all that our hearts desire we get busy hiding all of the sadness that exists inside from not trying.
We get comfortable.
But being comfortable has never led to a happy life. We’re only happy when we start something new, chase incredible adventures, or challenge ourselves by accomplishing something we never really thought we could do. To be happy, we need courage and courage is something that very few of us have.
See the courageous are the people who step forward into the light knowing that others are judging them and not caring. Knowing that they could possibly fail but also knowing that no success was ever achieved without first failing. The courageous are the ones who know that if they keep thinking about it then it’s definitely something they need to do rather than something they should blatantly ignore. They listen to their gut and take the leap before the inner critic says no.
The courageous are the people that you want to fight a war with, have on your team at work, have on your side during hard times and most of all the people we should all strive to become.
Because when you lay in bed at the end of the day, what are the thoughts that you want running through your head, thoughts of achievement and the highest of highs or simple reminders of all that you didn’t go for because you were scared to try?
Don’t allow being comfortable to turn into complacency. Seek happiness by chasing your dreams and watching as they come to fruition. With a little hard work all of your dreams can become your reality.
But I can hear you now and I know what you’re saying, “But Melissa, what will they say?”, “ Everyone said I wasn’t good enough to make it the whole way” ,“this is not how my family does it" or even "the very thought of changing scares the shit out of me." It's ok I get it.
Change is difficult.
And to be frank it usually only happens when we’re faced with death. Or disease. Or anything catastrophic. We choose to change when faced with atrocities because change becomes our easiest option. But we fail to recognize that change is easier than most of us allow ourselves to believe.
Change is not as difficult as we make it out to be.
Our brains are wired to believe that the way we live life is the only way to live a happy life. And ironically, most of us aren’t happy. Every morning we wake up and grab the same coffee mug and reach for the same coffee pot. We go to the same job by way of the same road, day after day. We hurry to go to lunch. Where we then hurry to get back to work. We hurry to get home and have a repeat of the night before. We hurry and hurry and hurry to make sure that our day is normal and not uncomfortable.
This pattern continues to happen over and over again. Hours become days. Days becomes weeks. Weeks become months and then before we know it months have become years.
Do these patterns makes you happy?
I’m guessing they don’t. But somehow along the way you’ve confused being comfortable with being happy.
Life challenges us to evolve and grow but we choose to remain stagnant because we are afraid of what others may think or even what they might say. We’re afraid of being judged. Afraid of failure. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of all of the people that have already told us no.
Fear of being judged by another holds more value than the fear of not having lived the life we desire to live.
But this is all in our head, and if we seek to change our behaviors we must begin there. Our minds are wired to be fearful because we have created thought patterns that are solely based on fear. Therefore, we must change the thoughts (and words) that we think.
If you fear failure, ask yourself, “Where in your life have you failed?” If you have experienced what life was like after a failure were you able to get back up again and eventually succeed?
If not, I ask you can you change your thoughts to believe that every failure is only a new beginning to start again. It is when we don’t attempt to try that we never learn the tools that will enable us to become successful.
If you fear being judged by another, ask yourself, “Are they really judging me?” People judge others when they are insecure with themselves. So keep this mind those harsh words or eye rolls might be directed at you but when it’s all said and done they have nothing to do with you.
Has an authority figure made you feel that you weren’t good enough to attain this dream? Have you applied for a job and been told that you weren’t the right fit? Or maybe you didn’t get accepted into your dream college or you got passed over for that incredible promotion.
All of these situations are not LIFE ENDING they are LIFE ALTERING. When life knocks you down, stay down there and cry a little. Scream a little. Throw a temper tantrum and have a fit if you need to but when it’s all said and done get your ass back up and keep going.
Eventually you’ll find the path that leads directly to where you’re meant to be. But you never find the path when you sit on the sidelines and watch as life passes by.
Stop feeding your fears when what you should really be doing is feeding your dreams.
Just know this, you’re never alone. Look around you. So many of us are choosing to face our fears or simply lie awake with them at night. But we can choose to suffer in silence or triumphantly chase our fears. The choice is ours and ours alone.
So what do you choose?
I choose to think outside the box and live a life that is unhinged. I’ve followed this path for a while. I’ve pushed past the naysayers, the doubters and the “you’ll never be good enougher’s” and now they look at me and say different things. They look at me and say “thank you”, “you’ve encouraged me” and “you’ve helped me” and let me tell you my life will never be the same.
By letting go of your fears you offer yourself love that is unlike any other.
At the end of the day we can choose to change our lives or we can choose to remain the same but don’t waste another day wishing for something that you could have achieved.
Life only happens once and it’s better to not waste it away.