What is self-love and why is it all the rage nowadays?
If you had told me ten years ago that what I really needed to do was love myself more I probably would have told you to go fuck yourself. Yeah, I know that’s harsh but it’s true. Ten years ago, I had no idea what loving myself meant. The whole concept sounded foreign and confusing.
But yes times change. What I know now is that they were right. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t even like myself. I had no idea who I was. Up until that very moment, my whole life was spent appeasing others. So much so that I had no idea who I was underneath the façade that I showed the world. So, how was I supposed to love myself when I had no idea who I was underneath it all?
I never shared my truth to the world. I always said yes when what I wanted to say was no. I put others needs in front of my own. By doing this, I never had to evaluate what my own physical and emotional needs were. I said what others wanted to hear and kept the rest to myself. It was almost as if I was living a double life. And the saddest past about this double life was I had no idea I was living in it.
It’s only until you begin to accept you, as you are, that you realize how little you accepted of yourself before.
It turns out that the most important first step to self-love is being you. I never loved myself because I was never myself. It sounds so simple but it’s really complex. Love is like a magnet. When you have it within it continues to attract more. But if there’s no love within it can never attract. You will only receive what you give, whether it be real love, or the façade you show the world.
Loving yourself is not easy, but when you do life becomes easy.
Could you use a little more self-love in your life? If you could here are a few suggestions to bring more self love into your life.
Stop ruminating on an experience that happened yesterday or ten years ago. Stop wondering how life would have been different had you voiced your opinion, expressed your concern or even reacted differently. You will never be able to change yesterday but you can change today. Therefore, you must forgive yourself or forgive another and just let it go. Live in the present, as the present is all you have.
Repeat these words to yourself. “I am enough.” Integrate these words into your day to day by continuously repeating them. Do it so much so that you wholeheartedly believe them and are able to catch yourself when your negative inner voice begins to rear its ugly little head.
Know that you are worthy of everything good in life. You are worthy of love, kindness and happiness. You are worthy of a full life filled with rich experiences and warm, nurturing people who support you. You are worthy of loving your life and yourself. So love it while you have the chance.
Look For Good
Begin to look for good in others. It’s human nature to judge others and immediately notice bad qualities. But how different would our lives be if when we looked at others we spent all of our time looking for the good? Because within all of us there is more good than meets the eye. Seeking to find the good within others will create a deeper awareness that will ultimately encourage you to acknowledge the good within you.
Like Attracts Like
Surround yourself with others who love you, support you and nurture you. Let go of those who don’t, as they will only hold you back. Make sure that the people you surround yourself with emulate behaviors in life that are examples of who you are and who you strive to be.
When I look back now, all I want to do is hug the woman I once was and tell her it’s ok. Everything will all be ok. Just sit down, grab a pen and tell me about yourself. Stay there. Don’t get up when it seems hard. Pick up that paper everyday and continue to add more as life evolves.
One day you’ll look down at that paper and life will have changed. You will have changed. You will have become stronger. Awake. Supported and Loved. Filled with love for who you are, what you have seen and where you will go. And when that one-day comes, I promise you your life will get easier and you will wholeheartedly love every piece of you and your life.