"Always be true to your feelings because the more you deny what you feel the stronger it becomes” ~ Unknown
Can you look back at a time when you were sad and still feel the pain? Can you do this for multiple experiences? Repressing emotions is common amongst males and females but for different reasons. For males, they are taught that men don’t cry and therefore showing emotion becomes a sign of inferiority. However, women are chastised for showing their emotions by the infamous question “Oh it must be your time of the month?” These comments are infuriating and create harmful patterns of repression that we carry with us through life. But the truth is that the negative labels that are associated with emotions are far less painful then the pain felt from unprocessed emotions.
Unprocessed emotions form a toxic sludge that is buried deep within our subconscious mind. They fester inside of us for years, sometimes even decades, waiting in the depths of darkness to reappear. They manifest in our everyday life by continuing to withhold us from joy, preventing us from developing deeper connections and wreaking havoc on we show up sexually. These EMOTIONS fill us with endless amounts of rage, judgment and resentment.
Repressed emotions cause us to lose touch with our true self and when we continue to repress we begin to believe that the person we have become is the negative repressed person who has forgotten how to feel.
But you are not that person. The real you is underneath those layers.
Change is possible and you can have it today.
In order to heal it we must feel it.
Speak your Truth
In order to let go of what is holding us back we need to confront it. This looks different for everyone. While some may find it easier to discuss their repressed emotions with a partner, a friend or a family member, others feel safe with a trained professional. The most important piece is to dig deep and get honest with yourself about what you are holding onto and then talk about it. Start by repeating those words out loud for you to hear and then work towards sharing them with others.
Breathe out your Feelings
Close your eyes and envision the emotion that you are feeling. Breathe it in deeper and deeper. Breathe your feelings into fullness and allow them to take over your body. This technique can be uncomfortable but it is unbelievably powerful when you push past that preliminary stage of uncomfort.
Express your Emotions
Break your previous patterns of repression and begin to feel your feelings in the moment as they arise. If you are angry, feel it. Express your anger in an emotionally mature way by communicating with I statements and describing how you feel. Do not repress. This is a difficult challenge but as with everything time and practice will increase your confidence and make you stronger.
Release all Judgment
Insecurity breeds judgment. In order to move forward we must push past these feelings of insecurity and begin to offer ourselves more compassion. You are not the mistakes you have made in the past. You are not the negative experiences you’ve been holding on to. You are beautiful and whole as you are. By releasing yourself from the ties that you have been holding onto you will evolve into the next stage, emotional maturity.
Remember-- emotional maturity begins when we can feel our feelings as they arise. At the end of the day a feeling is just a feeling --- there is nothing else that can come from that one feeling.