Do you Want a Loving, Supportive Inner Voice? Here's How...
If you’ve followed along on this three part Inner Voice series then you know the first week I asked you to challenge your Inner Voice by doing the opposite of what it is shaming you into doing. I asked you to face your fears head on and immediately silence your inner critic by going for it. I know. Sounds like some scary shit, right? Well it is scary but it’s possible to do.
In the second part of this series I asked you to take a few days to observe your inner critic and journal when she was most active. Did you happen to notice any trends? Where in your life are you most insecure? Is there a specific part of your day where your voice is most active?
I asked you to forgive these pieces and meet them with love.
But if after all that hard work your inner voice is still incessantly nagging at you perhaps it’s time to listen. Trust your instinct. Don’t trust the negative inner critic that doubts you but trust what is happening behind the voice. Behind the voice are unresolved feelings that are waiting to surface but when we listen to our negative inner critic we continue to blanket our shame and hide behind the outer most layer.
What we need to do is continue to shed all of our layers and let go of what keeps us from moving forward.
We need to acknowledge our inner voice during moments of insecurity rather than push to silence it. It is in these moments, the moments where we feel lonely, unloved, worthless and not good enough that we should force ourselves to take a step back and ask why. Why do we continue to allow ourselves to feel this way?
If we were to pause and acknowledge these feelings as they come we would see just how damaging they are. But I do believe we know how troublesome they are and that is why we continue to blanket them and push them deep down inside. It’s easier to continue to cover up our problems than it is to confront them and do the work to let them go.
When we don’t acknowledge what our negative inner voice is telling us, it’s almost like we’re opening the bottom drawer of our desk and shoving all the stuff we don’t know what to do with in it for later. But what happens when later never comes?
We explode. Or implode. We allow all of our emotions to continue to multiply and expand inside and we do the exact opposite of what our hearts are begging us to do, nothing.
But is the life of nothing the life we want to live?
If after all of the journaling, forgiveness and love the negative inner voice continues to placate your mind then perhaps you should give it more time. But this time needs to be different then the time you already give. This time needs to be focused on listening to what the voice is telling you rather than continuing to focus on how to silence it.
Do the opposite of silencing your inner critic by listening to it.
Pause when it’s speaking.
Acknowledge it.
Observe it when it is most active.
Then ask yourself what I can do to soothe my inner critic?
The answer might be as simple as getting more rest, eating a healthy meal or spending some much-needed time alone. It also may not be that simple. It may indicate that there is a deeper issue within that needs to be confronted. Listen to your intuition and allow it to guide you on your way. If it is something deeper I urge you to work through it now rather than carry this load with you into the future.
But if you are ready to change that nasty, negative inner voice to a positive one then I must tell you that there is not one, easy quick fix. Just like everything else in life in order to see the results you must do the work. Sorry, but it’s true. If you want the voice in your head to be positive then you must be positive. If you want your voice to be supportive then you must support yourself.
If you want love then you must be love.
The only way to have a positive inner voice is by taking care of our bodies and our minds. We must love ourselves; every little damn piece.
And if this still leaves you wondering if there’s another way then I ask you to consider this, aren’t we all imperfect? Aren’t we all struggling with something? Some of us may have bigger burdens to carry but nonetheless we all have our own to carry.
If we could stop spinning in our own heads for one moment we would see that every single one of us is carrying something with us. Every one of us is still trying to pave our path and make room for something new. However, the only way to get there is by believing that we can. And the only way we can ever believe is if we get pesky little voice in our head to believe as well.
What do you say friend? Are you worthy of love enough to give it to yourself? I believe you are. And if you believe it too then you can change the voice within to believe as well. It all begins within.